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First is first

I am going to do it. I have made up my mind. These are the first few words of the new… the best … the Longest Text In The Entire History Of The Kenned Macrocosm! This Has To Have Over 35,000 words the beat the current world record set by that person who made that flaming chicken handbooky thingy. I might just be verbally expressing arbitrary things the whole time I inscribe in this so you might get perplexed a lot. I just discovered something egregious. autocorrect is on!! no!!! this has to be crazy, so I will have to break all the English language rules and the rudimentary cognizance of the average human being. I am not an average human being, however I am special. no no no, not THAT kind of special ;). Why do people send that wink face! it always gives me nightmares!
it can make a plenarily mundane sentence creepy. imagine you are peregrinating to a friend’s house, so you text this: [ visually perceive you anon 🙂 ] seems mundane, right? But what is you integrate the word semi to that colon? (Is that right? or is it the other way around) what is you integrate a lorry to that briquettes? (Semi-truck to that coal-on) anyway, back to the point: [ visually perceive you anon 😉 ]THAT IS JUST SO CREEPY! is that genuinely your friend, or is it a creepy stalker visually examining your every move? Or even worse, is it your friend who is a creepy stalker? maybe you cerebrated it was your friend, but it was genuinely your fri end (let me expound: you are jubilantly in McDonalds, getting corpulent while orally consuming yummy pabulum and some desultory dude walks up and blots out the sun (he looks akin to a conventional here) you can’t optically discern anything else than him, so you can’t endeavor to evade ocular perceiver contact
he culminates orally consuming his cheeseburger (more homogeneous to horseburgher(I learned that word from the merchant of Venice(which is a good play(if you can understand it(I can cause I got a special book with all the words in readable English indited on the side of the page(which is kinda comical because Shakespeare was supposed to be a good poet but no-one can understand him(and he’s racist in act 2 scene1 of the play too))))))) and sits down contiguous to you , like you are old pals (you’ve never met him afore but he looks homogeneous to he could be in some weird cult) he clears his throat and asks you a very personal question. “can i have some French fries?” (I don’t ken why there called French fries when I’ve never optically discerned a French person orally consume fries! all they orally consume it is stuff like baguettes and crêpes and rats denominated ratty-two-ee which is genuinely fun game on the PlayStation 2) And you cerebrate {bubbly cloud cerebrating bubble} “Hahahahahhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!
I recollect that i was just about to orally consume one of my fries when I descried something mushy and moist and [insert gross color like green or brown] on the cessation of one of my fries! now I can give it to this NERD!! ” (yes he is a nerd because all he does all day is watch the elongated editions of the hobbit, lord of the rings and star wars and orally consume fat cakes (what the heck is a fat cake? I cerebrate it might be homogeneous to a Twinkie or something)and twinkies(wow so is doesn’t authentically matter which is which because he orally consumes both(i may have just done that so I didn’t have to Google what a fat cake is (right now I am inditing on my iPhone 3gs anyway, which has a broken antenna so i can’t get internet anyway (it’s genuinely an authentically hysterical story that i’ll tell you sometime)))and sit in his man cave with his friend denominated Joe (an AUTHENTIC friend, not a fri end)and all Joe does is watch sports like football with bob and all bob does is wager ferociously (don’t ask(it signifies he buys all those bags of chips that verbalize “win a free monkey or something if you find a banana in your bag
(if there is a little star it signifies there is fine print so I always check the back of the package) flips over the package okay, it verbally expresses: “one of our workers fortuitously threw a banana in the packing machine and we don’t want to get sued so we did this promotion thing” cool. Oh wow, this is salt and vinegar! my favourite! i hate cheese and onion.))and that’s assuredly his life, he lives in Jamaica with Naruto and his friends) so you give him that gross fri end he throws up all over you and me and the worker abaft the contravene who was still making an onion, and THAT is the story of the fri end, not a friend who somehow recollected your denomination and your phone number / email so he could text you verbalizing he would peregrinate to your house anon. finally takes a breath after inscribing a few hundred words about fri-ends so what now? i ken, i ken, you cerebrate i ramble an exorbitant amount of and use an exorbitant quantity of brackets (i don’t) but now i am going to verbalize about my amAZEing day. first i aroused, victualed choco pops for breakfast even tho i always hate it when people verbalize that cause i get jealous and super hungry. then i… umm… yea! that was my day. you ken that other person i mentioned afore? that flaming chicken person? WELL. i will glom something from that person but do it preponderant. i will… drum roll please